my recent regret

I went across the street from my house to get some chinese food and rent a movie (It was a good night to be a homebody.  Unfortunately my desire to chill out and be left alone made me miss an opportunity.

Outside of the Chinese bar, people have been gathering to smoke, since it is now illegal to do so in a bar.  I overheard one of the regulars (I've since learned his name is Eric) talking with a black man who I had never seen before.  It sounded like the guy may have stereotyped the black man and called him a drug dealer.  As I walked by I asked Eric, somewhat jokingly, "Did you say you were a drug dealer?"  I was trying to demonstrate to the black man that I in no way thought HE was a drug dealer(he didn't look like one to me, anyway) and also give Eric the opportunity to air his racism out loud.  He didn't bite on that, but he immediately jumped up, got in my face and asked, "what did you call me?" I'm not one for unwarranted physical confrontation and I responded with, "I didn't call you anything, I asked you if you were a drug dealer when I heard you say the words, 'drug dealer'"  It took him a minute, but he relaxed and played off his confrontation as a joke. 

I continued on my way to the video store, and when I came out I walked over to Eric and said, "Man, you scared me, I have a concussion and I don't think I could have fought you right now."  He had a very judgemental vibe as he introduced himself, and he shook my hand.  I turned to the black man to shake his hand and he did not extend his hand to me.  I looked back up at him, our eyes met, and then he looked away.  I know that he probably didn't want to shake hands with anybody that would shake Eric's hand and I walked away. 

This is my regret. Because I was "taking a break" from spreading my ultimate message, I failed to call him out.  Also the fact that I didn't want to get punched may have played into it, but I know what I should have said, when the black man refused to shake my hand.  I should have said, "I can understand why you don't want to shake my hand, did Eric stereotype you?  Is that why you are angry?"  and I should have told Eric that as long as people continue to stereotype each other, we will never be able to be "a human race" and as soon as we realize this we will become a force to be reckoned with when it comes to the system that is currently in power.  It bothersme that the black man, who looked like a decent man, probably stereotyped me as somebody who would defend Eric before I would defend him.  And that is the exact opposite of what I would have done.

I hope I never get that complacent again, and I guess I better be prepared to fight for my beliefs, but I know that I could learn a lot from that black man.  I wish he would have introduced himself, because now I am stuck with calling him that black man.  The fact that he was black is very important to this entry, but not important in our lives.