Friday, July 30, 2004

experience in selling my soul

In a previous entry I talked about rectifying your life after having sold your soul.  It might suck at first, but eventually you will find that balance...and here is my experience with that.  (All police officers...disconnect now, please...haha)

When I was a teenager, I shoplifted a lot.  I only really shoplifted from large corporations, but if I stole from something smaller, I'm sorry.  What I noticed is that while I was getting free stuff by shoplifting, I was a part of the system...label me criminal, a theif or whatever...then one day, I realized that I shouldn't be stealing from anybody anymore.  I had fallen into the system (refer to other entries to understand why.)  So I stopped...and the Karma I had built up came back to me and completely fucked me.  My car window was smashed, another day the stereo was stolen...the amp and speakers that I took out of my car and put into my apartment were stolen when somebody burglarized me.  For a small time, everytime I turned around something was stealing something from me.  But then it all stopped.  Now I park my car in Boston and I don't even lock the door.  Since I decided to stop stealing, I went through one stage (getting ripped off at every account) and landed in a new stage ( the natural balance...I know longer have to worry about being stolen from) So my point is, I changed my life, and it sucked for a short while, but now I never ever worry about people stealing things from me.  So I endured a short intense pain, but now I never have to deal with getting stolen from anymore...except when it comes to the government. 

Don't label me, cuz I'm un-label-able.  I defy you to label me, and explain why I am just like the others that you labelled like me before.

Talk about what you read in the entry below this one.

Before I get into the main reason I am adding this so-called "blog".  I was looking at my own journal, and AOL has a tab at the bottom of the web page that says, "blocking pop-ups (3)"  so I wondered, "what the hell pop ups could I possibly be getting from my own journal page?"  Turns out, that AOL was blocking some "helpful hints" about my journal...for those of you that are kinda slow...AOL was blocking their own pop-up, and the pop-ups that they were blocking were AOL trying to help me deal with  my journal.   For those of you that are even slower than that...fuck you. 

The Bill of Non-rights is pretty close.  The things I take exception to are these:

Taking the words "in god we trust" or "under god" out of various factions, is indeed denying a heritage so to speak...but if this country wants to claim that you are free to believe what you want...maybe it's time for a new heritage to start.  The only way we define heritage is really "  how the people before us lived.  So maybe it's time to recognize our mistake.  If we do away with religion in our politics, it may seem weird now, but 50 years from now people will talk about how America used to say they had separation of church and state, despite using the word God in political paperwork.  And how we realized how hypocritical that was to our society, and in effect...proved that we were looking for the best situation possible, and not blindly following for the sake of not admitting a mistake.  

Also, I agree with the fact that nobody should hurt anybody else, and I don't believe that people should steal from each other, but criminals are a product of this society...whatever "class" you can say you are from, you must realize that the people at the bottom suffer...they see the kid across the street having anything and everything he wants, without being any better of a person.  No, I don't believe that we should freely hand out money to those who choose not to work for it.  But without this system, those parents who didn't give their children the best skills to survive, will see their children perish.  In nature, if a tiger doesn't teach its cubs to hunt...those cubs are done.  

This system claims that it is pro-competition...all nature is competition.  Yet it takes away the necessity for competition by feeding people that have never done what it takes to survive.  Oh, I know...cause we have souls...precious souls that God needs. 

Some of you will say, "well it's the bleeding heart liberals that want to feed those people."  No...it is anybody and everybody that ever fueled the system.  I'll explain more about that...but not now...cuz I'm tired of typing...

Maybe I'll finish this thought tonight, or maybe I'll wait til tomorrow. 

this was sent to me

"We the sensible people of the United States, in an
attempt to help everyone get along, restore some
semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our

nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the
blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our
great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more
time to ordain and establish some common sense
guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden,
delusional, and other bed-wetters.

We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole
lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and
are so dim they require a Bill of NON Rights."


ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car,

big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More
power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no
one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be
offended. This country is based on freedom, and that
means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may
leave the room, turn the channel, express a different
opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and
probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free
from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye,
learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool
manufacturer to make you and all your relatives
independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food
and housing. Americans are the most charitable people
to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but
we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation
after generation of professional couch potatoes who
achieve nothing more than the creation of another
generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health
care. That would be nice, but from the looks of
public housing, we're just not interested in public
health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically
harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally
maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest
of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the
possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce
away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be
surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you
away in a place where you still won't have the right
to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job.
All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly
help you along in hard times, but we expect you to
take advantage of the opportunities of education and
vocational trai ning laid before you to make yourself
useful.

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness.
Being an American means that you have the right to
PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if
you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic
laws created by those of you who were confused by the
Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We

don't care where you are from. English is our
language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came
from.

(lastly....)

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our
country's history or heritage. This country was
founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you
are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any
faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of
persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of
our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable
with it, TOUGH!!!!

If you agree, share this with a friend. No , you don't
have to, and nothing tragic will befall you if you
don't. I just think it's about time common sense is
allowed to flourish.

first hand experience on getting screwed

Not that I'm really complaining, because every cloud has its silver lining...

I am getting screwed, but the silver lining is that I can fully realize what I am fighting against, and I am given more information on the whole subject...unfortunately I may have suffered a mild concussion last night, so this its kind of hard to feel motivated to put my thoughts down...but here goes:

I got a ticket for going straight even though I was in the right turn only lane...I felt it was a bullshit ticket, since it goes on all the time, and I think the fact that I was driving a Taxi is what made the cop single me out...But I did do what I was fined for, so the ticket is legit as far as the system goes.  I didn't pay it right away.  The City of Waltham sent me a letter telling me that I better pay my parking ticket...I had never been to Waltham until the other day when I went to clear up this whole mess...more on that later...

I got a letter from the state listing reasons that my license and/or registration would not be renewed...it listed #1 unpaid ticket for a marked lane violation.  and #2 unpaid parking ticket in Waltham. 

This spring I went to the Town of Holbrook, went to pay my excise tax(excise means luxury...it is a luxury to own a car to drive around)  they said I had an outstanding excise tax from 2002.  In 2002, I totalled my truck and bought a new one, so I guess the taxes got mixed up...I payed for one, but not the other.  (That's what they tell me, anyway)  I asked the clerk "how much do I need to pay you to clear all of this up?"  She gave me a number, I wrote a check.  At the time, my feelings weren't concentrated on this polluted government, but these feelings have been brewing since I was 18.(18, you know, when the system is forced to recognize you as a taxpayer) 

I procrastinated paying my marked lane violation ticket, but I did in fact pay it at the registry a month or two ago when they threatened to suspend my license.  I procrastinated in finding out why Waltham had me listed for a parking ticket...I went to the city hall a few days ago to find out the deal...They said I had an outstanding parking ticket for parking in the projects(ghetto) in the middle of the night.  I've never been to that town, but if I ever have, I certainly would remember going there in the middle of the night.  I figure maybe they just wrote down a license plate wrong, and that's where my name came in.  So I ask the guy, and he says they can look into it, and file a request to secure the facts of the situation.  Meanwhile, my driver's license is expired.  I asked if I could just pay the bullshit ticket and clear it all up...he said I would still have to pay the penalties.  He had the nerve to tell me if I payed all the fines, they could still look into it, but I wouldn't receive a refund if they found out that it was a mistake. 

Finally(the whole fucking point of all this) I went to the Registry of Motor Vehicles yesterday, and they said I couldn't get my license renewed because I owe the town of Holbrook money for excise tax.  Think back(or just scroll up and re-read)  I got a letter listing all the reasons why I wouldn't be able to renew my license.  The Town of Holbrook was NOT on there.  Yet the outstanding bill was from 2002.  Plenty of time to notify me.  The town of Holbrook can't even do anything about it now...I got to go to the deputy collector in Quincy and convince him that I paid that.  or pay it again, plus penalties...or show him the paper that failed to list the Town of Holbrook(which is in my car, which is impounded for driving without a license)  More on this later...

http://journals.aol.com/jaylectricity/theessenceofjaylectricity/entries/1565

Thursday, July 29, 2004

The longer you pretend

The longer you pretend that something is a certain way; the longer you are fooled into believing something is a certain way; the more you deny what your inner nature knows as the truth; the longer you don't take control of your life:  The harder it will be when you fall.   We have all suffered occasions that seemed at the time, insurmountable.  I have layed on my living room floor crying because I thought that I lost my one chance at true love, or that humanity was helpless.  But now I don't feel that way...no matter how bad it got, I always rose above it, and found my natural balance.  Think about a time in your life when you suffered, but survived...and now you may be way past that.  Or maybe you are suffering right now, but you have suffered before, and you have triumphed before...it all may seem bleak, from time to time, but as I've said before, nature runs in cycles...sunrise, sunset...new moon, 1/4 moon, 1/2 moon, 3/4 moon, full moon...high tide, low tide...summer, autumn, winter, spring...menstrual cycles, gestation...birth and death...breathe in, breathe out...da dum, da dum (heartbeat) why would anyone think that we are any different?

If we are so different, why are we subject to disease, natural disasters, natural competition, and all that nature expounds on every other living being on this planet?

Think about that, and explain to me why we must be ruled by another living being?  Freedom of Choice is not strictly confined to abortion.  Even when the powers that be, say you have no choice...you still have a choice.  As much as they try to convince you, they can't build enough prisons to hold us in.  The longer they try to keep up with this system of denying our right to choose...The harder it will be when it falls.

the greatest of fears

Humans have begun to fear something so ridiculous that it is laughable, and ... ridiculous.  Think about the words "Keeping up with the Joneses." Think about insecurity.  Now think about the fact that a lot of Americans (and maybe others, but I can only speak of which I have seen with my own two eyes) are afraid to find out that they were wrong...so afraid, that they try to dismiss anything that might prove them wrong.  No matter how vile a persons opinion may be, we all deserve to hear it.  If we are smart, then we will dissect and dismiss those opinions that are not based on what you and I see.  The idea that we may have been fooled is one that will crush any natural curiosity.  Well guess what?  A lot of you have been fooled.  You went to bed early on Christmas Eve, so your parents could get drunk and fool around.  You were afraid you wouldn't get any presents from Santa Claus if you were naughty, or awake when he showed up.  Did it ruin your life when you found out that Santa Claus wasn't real?  Was your life so chaotic that the only conclusion could be destruction?

 

NO!

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

puzzle peices falling into place

I just realized I didn't need to fill in mood and music I'm listening to...since I am not the sheep that  most of these "journalers" are.

 

A highway built for you and me

Masked with fog so you can’t see

Off-ramp labels you should avoid

Detriment to a society destroyed

Criminals, protesters and tree-hugging hippies

No difference seen by the powers that be.

Where the path leads, nobody knows

Sacrificial sheep at the end of the road

They’re fucking with your fears

And they don’t care

About the countless tears

And the cross they bear

You wear it for them

As they find a way to spoil

Everything from the sky

To the precious soil

Speed limit rising as our freedoms fall

They won’t stop until they have it all

File your forms and wait for returns

Year after year we feel that burn

When they want you, they want it now

Americans serve as the systems cash cow

Blindly you followed, but not for the best

Now we need to put them to the test

They’re fucking with your fears

And they don’t care

About the countless tears

And the cross they bear

You wear it for them

As they find a way to spoil

Everything from the sky

To the precious soil

Gonna lose everything

Left wing and right wing

A grip on your soul

Their laws and tolls

Slowly they lied

Deaf to your cry

Now you are silent

You wonder why?

Systematic symptom problem solving

Never mind while our leaders are golfing

Fucker set your driver down you highly paid clown

Frown when people starve despite enough to go around

Life of dull pain, while you write your letters

Quick intense action will make us live better

So ignore the legislation and focus on your own

Take care of business, stop being a clone

They’re fucking with your fears

And they don’t care

About the countless tears

And the cross they bear

You wear it for them

As they find a way to spoil

Everything from the sky

To the precious soil

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

protesters

It's so sad that everybody that protests has to be labelled a protester.  Imagine if you were in a situation where your working conditions were terrible.  And you could see that the company was screwing you and your co-workers...but when you tried to explain to your colleagues on why you were getting screwed, and they all believed you, the company labelled you a cancer of the work place...now everybody else who has children to feed, or what not, has to stay away from you for fear of losing their job, while in reality, if everybody went to the management and voiced their displeasure, the management would realize how bad it would be if you, all your colleagues, and everyone else applying for a job didn't want to get screwed...management would shape up in a hurry.  They are fucking with your fears.  A great president once said, "the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself:"  without fear you can realize your dreams, no matter how lofty.  Don't ever FUCKING forget that!

Sunday, July 25, 2004

licensing and the DNC

I sat through what was close to 15 hours of the electrical code refresher course.  What a fucking joke.We mostly listened to a guy who, reading out of a book identifying each change in the code...we didn't even learn every change because he went too slow to get through it all.  I paid $140 for the class plus I need to send $68 to the state to renew my license.  They kept pushing us to get our masters license(which I guess is OK, but more fees and such...catch my drift?)  This is supposed to help us learn what new developments we've found?  The code book is structured just like the government.  It started out pretty basic, and every few years enough "suggestions" are gathered up to put out a new edition...which obviously costs us more money.  the book says things like "a grounded conducter will be deemed the bond in service equipment" then it will say "exception:  those conducters that occupy a conductive raceway(they mean...metal pipe) then the raceway shall be deemed the bond."  then there's the fine print note.  some appliances may not have a grounded condutor in which case the ungrounded conductors must be encased in a conductive raceway, and there fore be bonded through the raceway 

All I'm saying is that there are so many easier ways to say this stuff...but it's gotta be complicated because how many jobs depend on it.  Furthermore if you choose to be OK with the code book thing, then you know that nobody has the code book memorized...the point in going to school was to learn how to find stuff in the book...When we get together to refresh our knowledge...shouldn't we be talking about the recent developments?  like how the arc fault breakers work, or to hear what the trends are...recessed lights or overhead lights...dimmers?  incandescent or halogen...everyone wants a 200 amp service now...as stupid as these trends are, at least we could talk about that instead of hearing a guy read  us articles from a code.  I would rather just pay them the money to get a pamphlet of all the changes.  and skip listening to a guy drone on and on...I did learn some things but only because I chose to...and I know how to find things to learn every where I go.

As far as the DNC, I'm gonna stop typing for a minute, stand up, then walk around a little, then sit back down and start typing again.  See that wasn't so bad.

Anyway...what I see happening is the entire government,save a few "other party electees" getting together to throw a big party with our money.  They're coming to town to rally feel good, experience Boston.  spend all the wages they stole from you on having a good time.  They are mocking you..."hey let us come to your city and celebrate how we weaseled so much of your money out of you with our millions of elected officials, and government offices.  Oh and keep us safe while you're at it.  The money they spend will then get redistributed...a little of it to the service workers...maids,bartenders, cab drivers...but some of that money goes to the city government.  So even when the politician spends government money on you, some of that money ends up back in the government.  When somebody earns a large amount of  money he/she pays taxes on that money and then more taxes are taken out if he/she chooses to give that money to somebody.  Unless its a charity.

And charities take that money and redistribute it through THEIR bureaucracy and whatever is left they use to help whatever they claimed they were helping.  Why do we follow blindly?  Look around you. Somebody said the system is good because of all this stuff we did, technology and so on.  But the working man is the true man that produced this stuff...The lowest paid human beings in this country have made all of this possible.  What good has politics ever done for the people?  Think about that...Name something that politics did that was good, and I'll show you how politics created the bad that necessitated what good they did do.

Anyone else reading this...I extend the challenge...e-mail me with what the government ever has done to improve life. 

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

the system...yeah...again

Every time people start complaining I only blame one thing...the system...everything is the system...I'm not even a young punk teenager. All the hard working people in this country are producing 10 times as much as they are paid...why? because you are all getting screwed...the people at the top have raped you over and over, and somehow convinced you that it's worth it...

I could talk to all of you and listen to your abridged life story and explain to all of you a reason why you are personally getting screwed by the system, and if you aren't it's because you are part of the system...but at least 90% of Americans are not benefiting from the system.

and the people that support the system get paid well, while the people that do the actual work struggle to survive...more and more laws are passed to make the people at the top of the system more money...did Donald Trump really do enough work in his younger years to warrant getting paid yearly more than any of us will get in our whole life? no.

So you say, "well he was smart with his money and used it to make more." That is how the system stays alive... why does he get to fool around while you come home from your 8 hour job and yell at your wife, kids or animals because you are so stressed out? Why does the government waste money on things that make no sense? 11 billion dollars spent to go to war against drugs...yet drug use is the same....even in legal ways(pain killers, caffeine, nicotine, alcohol)...how many crappy Massachusetts roads could we fix with even 1 billion dollars?

Call me a hippie, call me a communist, but examine all the people that make the laws and how those laws suck your hard earned dollars to fill a politicians pocket and those who stand to make big money from certain laws being passed...

Every day I hear people complaining about politicians...but what is their final conclusion on the subject? That's how the system works...life sucks...blah blah blah. We are the only living being on this earth that is trying to convince each other how to live...in fact, I myself believe that nobody should have any unnatural power over anybody else, but I still am sitting here trying to convince you that this world needs to abolish all systems, or stop FUCKING COMPLAINING about your life. We are here to serve a purpose...every living being serves its purpose...life is nothing but cycles...and just because you aren't going to see the downfall of society, why be part of the problem cited in the text book HISTORY 101 in the year 3000?

Power is given...not taken...if the masses refused to respect the power of the government, the government would cease to exist. The system is just making things worse and worse, even a strike by a labor union does nothing. You lose wages while on strike, and by the time your raise pays for those lost wages, inflation has increased your bills.

I am sure to get a dismissive cliche reply from a few of you, but I have the way to go, and it's simple. there are two rules in life...

1. The Golden rule (do unto others as you would them do to you)

2. Take responsibility for your actions because for every action, there is a reaction. the truth will set you free.

Every other rule is a way to help the rich get richer...and that ain't cool.

the usual

Some people will say that if there were no laws, the “scum” of the earth would rule the world. Some people will say that humans are smarter, and think more than other animals and need structure to survive together in a society.

The evil people in this world were taught by the system. The poor kid that robs his neighbor, the hyperactive monster child at the supermarket, the deranged guy that takes humans, has sex with them, and then eats their body parts are all victims of a system that has completely corrupted the natural order. Everything is a cycle… everything lives and dies…people die, pets die, spiders die, plants die…so what makes us believe that the human race will never die? How many extinctions have there been since we discovered the first extinction? Not only do we believe that we will beat extinction, but we seem to want to obstruct natures way of keeping a balance, by forming laws against killing certain animals in fear that we might kill the last one ever, and wipe them off the earth. If humans had the desire to kill too many buffalo…maybe that is what nature had in mind…maybe nature felt buffalo had served their purpose and their existence would only screw up the instinctive natural order of things.

Humans are afraid to die…maybe not in the cliché sense, but just in the fact that we constantly strive to survive all of our hardships…the neighborhood gets together and cleans up after a tornado ripped through it… pharmaceutical companies offering any and every chemical quick fix to all of life’s problems. That release of adrenaline when our lives are in danger… so humans are smarter than all the other animals? Are we obviously here on this earth to rule over nature? How can nature be so consistent, producing animal after animal, plant after plant while we believe we are the one living being that is supposed to achieve some goal, and messing with nature is the only way to find our destiny? Why do the supposedly smarter living beings need a system in order to get along? Why don’t those millions of ants living in your backyard ever have to build anthills to keep the bad ants locked away from the rest of the colony?

Maybe this IS our nature…to fuck with nature until we figure out how to flow with nature. We think of childhood as a certain period of life that starts from birth until the child learns how to get by on their own. Humans have even decided that there is a certain age when this happens. You are not allowed to survive by yourself until you are 18 And obviously as there are unusual happenings in nature, a 15 year old can get emancipated but that means he had to ask the system if it’s ok to live and defend himself. We have to ASK the system if we have the right to be a living part of nature?

. If your parents abandoned you when you were 15 because they decided you were ready to be on your own, you wouldn’t even be allowed to get financial aid for college until you are 23 without having your parents income tax returns. So regardless if that 15 year old might have actually been ready as a human to survive on his own, he can’t be part of the system until he is 23. Don’t fool yourself into believing that its OK for him to bust his ass just to make enough money for school, when some rich teenager can get drunk every few weekends with their friends and coast through high school and college and then sit around getting money from the family business. Imagine…they sent their kid to school to teach him how to live in the world, yet all he really learns is how he won’t ever have to put in an honest days work. He will then support the system. It worked for him.. But certainly he didn’t earn it. Meanwhile, the only reason that 15 year old can’t survive in this world, is because the system won’t allow anyone to even join any part of the system until he is 16. Then the bitterness sets in…the human brain is sent off of its natural reason for being alive…nature says a 15 year old could probably find food , solve his own problems, etc…. except the system has put every obstacle in his place. If you want food, you have to make money. To get money, you have to get a job. Laws were passed to outlaw certain jobs for certain age groups. So he can’t get a job. So he must live off government assistance. Or he must steal. If he gets caught stealing, he will go to jail, where he will be fed…by the government. His only other option is to fuck the system. But if he’s fucking the system, the system is fucking you. The system is it’s own enemy and it will be that way until the system destroys itself. It is inevitable, despite how long it will take. Life is all about the cycles Which cycle do you want to be a part of?.

We do not completely understand how other animals communicate. We get clues, and start to learn mating calls, and various meows of a cat, and so on… but we haveno idea what is really going on in an animals head. For all we know the animals are looking at us and realizing what a disease we are, and hoping that nature won’t let us destroy them. Every living being would rather avoid us unless they learn that we will feed them. All the other animals keep their basic path in life, while we constantly try to change and improve things only to discover that we create at least one problem with every problem we solve…why do it? Why take part in this race to…to…ummm…to…well gee…I guess we don’t know what we are racing to accomplish, do we?

If I can’t convince the world that we need to change this stupid behavior…then I better start to realize that the point of the human race’s existence was to control the population of certain animals, fish, birds and whatever else…and then be wiped out when our services were no longer needed…just like the diseases that killed masses of people, and later simply ceased to be life threatening problems.

Worse yet…the system we are a part of is generations old…so even the parents of these children are teaching their children based on their parent’s knowledge of the system. “It’s always been this way…so why not let it stay? “

Everything changes. Some things change drastically, and others change subtly. And every change is supposed to be for the betterment of all life as we know it. Don’t all plants in the wild change to make their situation better? They adapt to their surroundings if they can…if not, they don’t survive. . . The only way the system changes humans, is by coming up with new ways to make you work for the system cheaply, make you adapt to their plan…and naturally (the literal natural) we want to adapt. The system fools us into believing that we need to adapt to “their” rules…yeah…I said it…they…the they. I held off all this time…Haha

ON THE RANDOM TIP

You may have sold your soul, but you can get it back…you just have to go through hell to get it. If you fuck up, you can fix it… it might suck for a little while…but once you find that balance…you will be able to make better decisions, and recover from mistakes much faster.

Wednesday, July 7, 2004

train of thought

Ok...I come online for various reasons...once in a while its to see if anyone I like to talk to is online, but mostly I have my reasons...I am concerned about something...it's the amount of drinking I do...I don't have a problem with drinking too much...I have a problem with drinking too often...

Sometimes I think that people drink to forget about their lives...but I love thinking about my life...so obviously I'm not afraid of that.  I do enjoy the buzz... but I wonder this...when people who have "a drinking problem" pour a drink...do they think about that?  Do they think "damn...I"m pouring another drink"  or do they not even realize...

When they realize that they are drinking a lot...and they find themselves pouring a drink...do they say to themselves, "what am I doing?"

I personally know that I could accomplish more things if I didn't drink...I don't drink to forget...and when finding myself in a position when I can't drink, it doesn't seem to bother me...I love life, and all that it has to offer.  So does that make me addicted?  and if so, can I strike it  down like all the other addictions I've abandoned in my past?

I never hide from my feelings...If you hear voices in your head...never fear, they are just you...all voices in your head are you...the more you ignore them, the more strange they seem.  But who can deny that every thought and feeling in their head isn't their own psyche?

I want to type more...but I won't...too bad.

Tuesday, July 6, 2004

powers and their evils

     It is power which corrupts. The consciousness that you possess power is *self the worst poison that corrodes the finest metal of man. The filth and contamination of politics everywhere sufficiently prove that. Moreover, even with the best intentions Socialists in legislative bodies or in government positions find themselves entirely powerless to accomplish anything of a socialistic nature, anything of benefit to the workers. For politics is not a means to better the conditions of labor. It never was and never can be.

 

Why is it that a man defies those in power, but when he gets power, he is changed by it?  Does he not remember when he hated those in power?  Does he not wish to expel the evil and hated actions of those in power?  Why not in power, do what he can to allow his fellow brothers/and sisters to enjoy what he sought after before he gained that power.

 

 

Friday, July 2, 2004

gotta start somewhere

I am reading a book about anarchy right now. 

     You and I and each of us, we all want to live. We have but one life and we want to make the best of it - rightly so. We want some joy and sunshine while we live. What will happen to us when we are dead, we don't know. No one knows. The chances are that once dead we'll stay dead. But whether so or not, while we live our whole being hungers for joy and laughter, for sunshine and happiness. Nature has made us that way. Made you and me, and millions of others like us, to long for life and joy. Is it right and just that we should be deprived of it and forever remain the slaves of a handful of men who lord it over us and over life?

     Can that be 'God's will', as the church tells you?

     But if there be a God, he must be just. Would he permit us to be cheated and despoiled of life and its joys? If there be a God, he must be our father, and all men his children. Would a good father let some of his children go hungry and miserable while others have so much they don't know what to do with it? Would he suffer thousands, even millions, of his children to be killed and slaughtered, just for the glory of some king or the profit of the capitalist? Would he sanction injustice, outrage, and murder? No, my friend, you cannot believe that of a good father, of a just God. If people tell you that God wants such things they Just lie to you.

Why would anything that was bad feel good if we were suppose to feel good.  We fight against feeling bad don't we?  If it feels good...you probably should be doing it.