Wednesday, July 7, 2004

train of thought

Ok...I come online for various reasons...once in a while its to see if anyone I like to talk to is online, but mostly I have my reasons...I am concerned about something...it's the amount of drinking I do...I don't have a problem with drinking too much...I have a problem with drinking too often...

Sometimes I think that people drink to forget about their lives...but I love thinking about my life...so obviously I'm not afraid of that.  I do enjoy the buzz... but I wonder this...when people who have "a drinking problem" pour a drink...do they think about that?  Do they think "damn...I"m pouring another drink"  or do they not even realize...

When they realize that they are drinking a lot...and they find themselves pouring a drink...do they say to themselves, "what am I doing?"

I personally know that I could accomplish more things if I didn't drink...I don't drink to forget...and when finding myself in a position when I can't drink, it doesn't seem to bother me...I love life, and all that it has to offer.  So does that make me addicted?  and if so, can I strike it  down like all the other addictions I've abandoned in my past?

I never hide from my feelings...If you hear voices in your head...never fear, they are just you...all voices in your head are you...the more you ignore them, the more strange they seem.  But who can deny that every thought and feeling in their head isn't their own psyche?

I want to type more...but I won't...too bad.

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