It’s always bothered me, but I was recently reminded of this. It’s not a particular incident I wish to talk about, but rather something that happens way too much. Most people say they feel more trust towards a person that makes eye contact while conversing. Lots of lovers enjoy staring each other in the eyes. A lot can be said with no words at all with a simple glance. So why then do we avoid eye contact with almost everyone we see when we are out and about?
In traffic, at the supermarket, the video store, and walking down the street we go on about our business. Sometimes we look at our destination like the door, the checkout counter, straight ahead and even at the ground. Some cashiers will never look you in the eyes, and some customers will never look the cashier in the eyes. We don’t look at other drivers in traffic, sometimes leading to close calls and even accidents. Even when we do make eye contact, we immediately break it and look at something else pretending to be interested in it.
If we immediately break eye contact, why did we look at another in the eyes anyway? Could it be that it is our natural instinct to look at each other? To see what another human’s intentions might be upon encounter? We cannot help ourselves, yet as soon as contact is made we pretend we didn’t want to look in their eyes. Maybe we know the truth, but don’t want to admit it. Maybe we are scared of all the “bad people” in the world. Maybe it’s as simple as not having the time to be bothered.. Whatever it is, it has to stop.
Looking somebody in the eyes and saying hello is a good feeling to be shared. You don’t have to go any further than that. A lot of trouble can be avoided if you look at someone that may be on a collision course with you and gradually redirect your path instead of abruptly and awkwardly almost running into each other? How much smoother would traffic be if drivers looked each other in the eyes at intersections, or when needing to change lanes.
How can we stay united against the evils of the world, if we don’t even feel comfortable with each other? How can we take part in this democracy if we are always at odds, not only with some of the things we complain about the government, but with each other? Take a look at that man over there…he is probably a lot like you. Just with different circumstances, different experiences, and different interests. But he probably enjoys being noticed, and being treated well. He probably enjoys seeking out the things that make him happy. And you know he enjoys being able to eat, sleep and have sex. Why should his interests get in the way of yours? Why should yours get in the way of his?
Eye contact…try it for a day. If others give you any grief, be strong and say something like, “I enjoy being a person and I hope you have a nice day, that's all.”
3 comments:
Eye contact is one of the most powerful acts a man can do. That's why so many people shy away from that. People feel they are put at a disadvantage being looked at directly in the eye. Some even feel challenged by that.
If you challenge someone to 'look me in the eye and say that' and they don't, it usually means they have something to hide at worst or being insincere at best.
As my friend puts it below...eye contact is a very strong thing. I've challenged the notion that we human beings are the most intelligent species many a time. I know we really are the most intelligent, but we seem to be lost. Animals use body language to interact with all other life forms. A dog sniffs a strange dogs butt, a cat will alert danger to a strange cat with hair raising and posturing. In a pack of dogs it takes one dog certain body language to tell the rest of the pack that it is killing time. Birds constantly "discuss" the situation at hand, whether there is food for all or food for one, or if there is imminent danger. This is the same way our eye contact is to be used. We have nothing to hide, we are all interconnected. Even your evil actions may have helped someone somewhere. We need to use eye contact to straighten out our ship. I can only listen to complaints about the same thing from everyone for so long before I snap and pull us together to fight that evil. The evil does not lie in your fellows hands...it lies in the ideas and systems that are in control of the world today. We just need to change them...in a hurry.
Well, something I can agree with you on. I have always made eye contact with people and I really enjoy walking down the street and saying good morning and nice day and any other thing that pops into my head at the moment to whom ever I run into. I have never been afarid of eye contact and I am amused at people that look everywhere but at you when you are trying to have a conversation with them. I feel if someone cant "look you in the eye" he has something to hide and I love tormenting this type of person. Sorry, Jay, but you have to admit that a person looking at the ceiling or his shoes while talking is weird and I will ask them if I am boring them and what is so interesting on the floor that I am missing. Hum. eye contact. Good idea. Now to sell it.
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