Annual introspection

     The sky turns a slight gray. It has been wandering between blue and gray for the last 48 hours. From the comforting yellow of the summer sun to the blanketing gray of the fall sky. The day mellows much earlier now. The quiet of this Sunday afternoon reflects the dark solitude of the early dawn. The noise of gasoline chugging machines seems non-existent. The occasional roaring motor interrupts this silence. This is the time for reflection. To consider what the current calendar year has meant.

    Every year in New England begins with a bitter cold that paralyzes ambition, leaves one to believe that surviving the day is good enough. Even salt water, a warrior against freezing temperatures, gives in to the solidity of the frozen world. The colorless bays of Eastern Massachusetts try to mimic a dark sinister blue, almost gray surface cracking with white volcanic eruptions of tidal movement. All plant life on land is frozen to its core. Waiting in silence for a shred of warmth. With warmth brings a different form of moisture. Snow and ice give way to dew, mist, and of course rain.

     The anticipation of the warm weather creates a disdain for rain. In a region perpetually assaulted with government issued signs warning: Water Ban in Effect, Hand Held Hoses Only, rain still remains the enemy. The rain doesn’t live in symbiosis with the latest fashions in clothing and hairstyles. The rain doesn’t perpetuate many sporting events, picnics, walks in the park, or any other outside activities. The rain is often viewed as a deterrent to life itself.

     That is, until the brutal humid heat of July sets in. Suddenly the rain is welcome. Anything to capture the humidity, bring it down to earth and rid the atmosphere of its suffocating presence. Often a day inside with an operational air conditioner seems a welcome escape from the sweltering heat. So many chances to enjoy the earth’s sunshine missed for the sake of saving sweat glands. It is the time for the many bodies of water nearby to soothe and cool the sweat glands, rejuvenating the drive to be alive.

     Eventually the heat subsides and a period of sunshine and cool breezes monopolize each day. Outcries against the heat turn to relief. The realization that winter is coming will set upon some people. Others will welcome the turning of the leaves. The applepicking season has arrived. Soon the pumpkins will fear the knives looking to carve faces into their vegetable flesh. Indian Summer at its best. Shortly, New England will decide what kind of winter shall be endured next year.

     The time has come to feel the next holiday season. For some it means the obligations of family, and a drain on the wallet. For others it means a chance to settle down and enjoy all that has been given to us in this lifetime. A time to leave our mistakes behind and use our successes to fortify our future. If nothing else, a chance to share our time with the people we consider unconditional friends and family in this life. We won’t know if today is the last day, all we know is that we want to spend our last days with the people we love. This is an annual motive.

Roller Coaster of Life

     In the course of human life, one experiences many ups and downs. All the while does this man feel that neither one will ever end. There is no such thing as a black cloud to one on top of the world and there is never a silver lining in the pits. Even such knowledge can not make one immune to this very nature. Negative history is forced to repeat itself if the lessons aren't learned. Matters of love are the usual suspects. Love of friends, love of family and love of the opposite sex all carry their own stigmas.

     How to define friends? How to secure the absolsute knowledge of what it takes for anyone to be a friend? Fair weather friends have bad publicity, but the cooperation goes both ways. While the fair weather friends are in favor, life must be experiencing fair weather. In itself, that makes a fair weather friend worth having. Misery loves company, but company doesn't love misery. Even the best of friends hope to avoid one's misery. How many times will a best friend fall from grace in the course of history? If lucky...only once. Friends too, experience ups and downs.

     There can be no stronger, more intrinsic bond than that of one's blood sake. When forced to choose, the initial response is to rebel against the family, but ultimately choose family. Sticking together through all the bad weather is a family tradition. When making decisions, the fallability of human nature should teach objectivity when dealing with family advice. Yet it does not, and will not. Ignoring family wisdom is the description of disrespect. Will this define love, or refute it?

     The possibility of intimate affection sways desire at will. Whether succumbing or opposing advances from the opposite sex, free will is greatly altered. How powerful is the need for human touch to perplex the human mind? On each willing heart, life is endless sunshine. Nothing else matters but the connection to aanother heart. Broken hearts bring mental hurricane in 3D. Disaster, Destruction, and Devestation. Each experience is more intense than before. The best ever or the worst ever.

     The belief that "This is all there ever will be" cries for extinction. Today awaits tomorrow. Everything is possible as time continues to progress. Don't get comfortable, the future isn't slowing down. All it takes is one spark to set that fire. The fire of passion, exuberance and freedom.

Gasoline Prices

Of course you may have noticed the growing gas prices. I have too. They have decided that hurricane Katrina is to blame. But I have two questions. #1 How much of our gasoline is refined in Louisiana? #2 Do you realize how most gas stations price gasoline? I worked at a gas station before. We were always the cheapest in town. It lends me to consider who is exactly affected by the gas prices. So let me begin my story here.

There have already been reports about gas gouging. The crafty gas station agents took advantage of a situation that gave them the excuse they needed BEFORE the hurricane even hit. There were reports that gas prices may rise due to the impending storm down south. Is that a free ticket or what? In two years the price of gas went from $1.60 in my area to $2.50. In one day our price went from $2.50 to $3.00 and the next day the price rose another 40 to 50 cents.

One day long ago, I worked overnights at a 24 hour gas station. It was the small town of Las Cruces, NM. Downtown consisted of a courthouse, fire station, and a movie theatre with a one way street circling counter-clockwise around it. At the time gas prices hovered around a dollar. We sold cigarettes for $1.29 a pack for premium brands. Generics and half-generics were going for $0.79 to $0.99. Every morning after my shift I was required to count the thousands of packs of cigarettes we had on hand. That required being in the office where the cartons were stored, and where the manager/owner of the station began his day. He began his day deciding what to charge for gasoline.

We always undercut the competition. The gas station across the street was about five cents higher than us most times. They were a Diamond Shamrock station, who had the luxury of plenty of credit card customers who would choose them for the sake of charging their gas for the day. One morning, our manager Carl-an old coot with a cranky streak like no other- was talking to his assistant. He said, "Drive around town and check the gas prices. Find the lowest price...then set our marquee at one cent lower." WAIT! Did he just say that?!?! I thought gas prices depended on checking invoices and determining the cost compared to overhead and profit margins...Right? Is this arbitrary method the reason for our gas prices? In a society where it is virtually impossible to have a job without using gasoline to get to and from work, how can we allow ourself to be gouged on the lifeblood of industry and commerce?

If you want to uphold this system, you must MUST consider the interests of all people involved. IF you do that, you will realize that there is no way for all of us to succeed. You are in competition with everyone...and the only winners are the small percentage of rich that feed off the masses. Here here to the privilege to do work for the lazy people.

No subject...subject...subject...subject

Add it all up so I speak on the things on your head til your dead

Every night is a gamble if I'll make it to bed

Pass out on the floor, or the couch or outdoors

Ain't ashamed to take the blame for the same mistakes as yours

Just give me a beat, and we'll see how I treat

the world around me, wait til they see

The evolution solution to all this pollution

Scared to death of the new revolution

Take what's evil and learn from its past

It has ta rely on a fasta disasta

Til we all come out cleaned of our wickedness

All the bickering and picketing til we gotta confess

I'm undressed for you people, faith is not in the steeple

The power inside is somethin you can't hide

from the harassed and the blasted, the crowds of the masses

From kindergarten and the following classes

You got history, biology, what's that gotta do with me?

How will math show the path of chemistry that I see

Chemical addictions comin over the hill

Underground market or prescription pills

Anti-depressants like lessons ringing through our culture

Big name companies they just wait like vultures

On top of a bank, like a dank skank

suckin on my wank, but she gets the better rank

Than me with my pants down, while Marley chants down

Making me like some blood, some slave, some clown

All I can do is hang with you till we're through

Unless you don't want me, then who needs you

While you get herded into a fuckin stampede

A victim of possesion, corruption and greed