the wonder of pop culture, the good and the bad?

Well here we fucking go again. Why do I use the word fucking? Cause it adds to the emphasis that I am trying to , um emphasize.
     I just watched two movies in the last few days based on my need to relax and hang out, and not tax my brain, which suffered a concussion. My thoughts aren’t changed that much, but the way my brain has dealt with my motor, nerve, and emotional issues is changed…hopefully only for a short time.
     I watched “Dummy” and “The butterfly effect.” Neither movie presented an idea that I had never thought of before, but both movies touched me deeply. “Dummy” had one message of ‘everything has happened for a reason’ and “the butterfly effect” had a message of chaos.
     Both of these messages exist together. In this chaotic world, everything happens, and when it happens, other things happen…confused? Well a Chaos-type theory tells us that no matter what you do, where you are, you are not in control of what happens next…you are in control of your own actions…but those actions are mostly reactions to the uncontrollable actions of other life forms. Those things that “happened for a reason” only happened by chaos…but you will notice that if you can follow along, and make the best decisions for yourself, it doesn’t matter what chaotic events happen.  You will always adjust to those situations one way or another. Whether it is strumming up enough courage and wits to find your way out of a forest…or finding a way to get your ass to work when your car is impounded, you still had to get a good look at the situation and find out how to overcome it.
     I use the “ant analogy” from time to time. Put something in the path of a line of ants heading to and from a pile of food for the queen. Then observe the chaotic response before finally one or two ants figure out how to get around that obstruction.  I can use that analogy for small or large scale situations. (yes, here comes the system…Haha)
     When the constant line of ants finds itself following a line that doesn’t seem to exist anymore (I.E. a rock, a hole, a line of poison) life becomes pretty chaotic for those ants for a short time. Ants are tiny, and their world moves much faster than ours. So after 5 minutes of absolute chaos, some ants have died, or gotten themselves completely lost. Eventually enough ants scurrying around, find a new path to that food, that they are so destined to find. 
     We are much larger than ants, and therefore our time runs a little slower. Look at nature and realize that the smaller the animal, the more offspring it produces in a shorter amount of time…(ants, mice, rabbit, cats, horses, elephants…catch my drift?) So when something impedes our natural order of things, it takes longer to impede, and longer to overcome.
     The government has impeded humans natural order of things. It took a long time to do so. Now we accept the system, because it is rare that any human being alive today has ever had to live outside of that system. After a certain time of chaos, humans will do what the ants I mentioned did. Some will die when they lose their way, but eventually humans as a whole will find how to keep striving for what this obstruction oppressed them from…the natural way of living.
     Let me turn my attention to Anarchy…Societies labeling of Anarchist does not represent what the true anarchist is about. Notice how I capitalized anarchist the first time, and didn’t capitalize it the second time? The first time was the label. The second time was the belief. Some people say, Anarchy is chaos. I say anarchy is the failure to respond to a government that has no right to control our lives. You already live in chaos. So anarchy is not going to present you with THAT new problem.
     Your problem is this: At this current time, the government has a stranglehold on you. They want as much of your money as they can. More and more fees and licenses that are doomed to expire to take your money. If that money was going to good use, I’m not so sure I would be so offended. But how many of your tax dollars are going to worthless causes…The head of the FCC spent millions of dollars to have a good time. In the eighties we “investigated” why the government was spending hundreds of dollars for things like hammers and toilet seats. Even since the inflation of prices from the eighties, I can buy the best hammer and the best toilet seat ever from Home Depot for $100.
     Politicians have one goal in life, and that is to get some of that tax money to feed their families. Worse than that, they don’t want to stop at supporting their families, they want to live in luxury. How would you like to live in luxury on the sole laborof making a proper speech? Using the money that some taxpayers have given by checking a certain box on their tax returns (check this box if you would like $3 to go to the campaign fund) Underneath the question of whether you want this money to go to campaign funds is the disclaimer, “checking this box will not effect your taxes” Meaning, “Go ahead and check the box, it’s not YOUR money.” But it is your money.
     If enough people check that box, only one of two things can happen. Either the government has to find a way to fit that into their budget, possibly requiring some tax increase somewhere, or they already have a surplus of YOUR taxes to send to various political candidates. I would be happy to find that a political candidate could get his message across to the people, so they could decide what they wanted, but in this system they can only subscribe to the system to get enough funds to get their message out. Once they do that, they have a new agenda. What has 90% of the political population ever done to ACTUALLY make humans better off? Most of them spend their time trying to convince you that THEY should be entitled to some of those tax dollars you give up without any thought at all. I gotta stop typing, because this is making me sick, but I shall return.

hit me...two times

I ran into that “black man” from a previous entry again. I thought I had my chance to talk to him, to learn about him…but he refused to ‘remember’ the incident two days ago, and when I further asked if Eric was being a jerk to him, he blew me off. Maybe he just sees me as one of those “white guys” that want “explore” his world…little does he know that I know that he can help me, and I can help him, and that we could possibly be friends…He seems very quiet. Which means that he has learned a lot from the people that he deals with day to day. On the other hand, maybe he IS just a jerk. Just because there are plenty of good, decent black men doesn’t mean he is one. If I see him again soon, I will view it as a sign…but I don’t know if he can possibly believe that I want to level with him, and discuss things. I don’t know if he cares about discussing such things. I don’t know if he may have stereotyped me. We’ll see what happens.

life continues to change

This is another excerpt from the book I'm reading

Do not underestimate the rôle of these sentiments in the life of man or nation. We do not live by bread alone. True, existence is not possible without opportunity to satisfy our physical needs. But the gratification of these by no means constitutes all of life. Our present system of civilization has, by disinheriting millions, made the belly the center of the universe, so to speak. But in a sensible society, with plenty for all, the matter of mere existence, the security of a livelihood would be considered self-evident and free as the air is for all. The feelings of human sympathy, of justice and right would have a chance to develop, to be satisfied, to broaden and grow. Even to-day the sense of justice and fair play is still alive in the heart of man, in spite of centuries of repression and perversion. It has not been exterminated, it cannot be exterminated because it is inborn, innate in man, an instinct as strong as that of self-preservation, and just as vital to our happiness. For not all the misery we have in the world co-day comes from the lack of material welfare. Man can better stand starvation than the consciousness of injustice. The consciousness that you are treated unjustly will rouse you to protest and rebellion just as quickly as hunger, perhaps even quicker. Hunger may be the immediate cause of every rebellion or uprising, but beneath it is the slumbering antagonism and hatred of the masses against those at whose hands they are suffering injustice and wrong. The truth is that right and justice play a far more important rôle in our lives than most people are aware of. Those who would deny this know as little of human nature as of history. In every-day life you constantly see people grow indignant at what they consider to be an injustice. "That isn't right," is the instinctive protest of man when he feels wrong done. Of course, every one's conception of wrong and right depends on his traditions, environment and bringing up. But whatever his conception, his natural impulse is to resent what he thinks wrong and unjust.

Historically the same holds true. More rebellions and wars have been fought for ideas of right and wrong than because of material reasons. Marxists may object that our views of right and wrong are themselves formed by economic conditions, but that in no way alters the fact that the sense of justice and right has at all times inspired people to heroism and self-sacrifice in behalf of ideals.

I have put in bold type what is important here...as life changes, as it will always do continually, it is easy to dismiss this bold faced type.  The difference? Since this script was originally written, humans have discovered a way to get messages across to the masses via TV, radio, and now the internet.  It is much easier for the government to send out messages of injustice to fool you into believing in a war, that in all actuality is about the material benefit to the government itself.

Sf:  but its like ide rather blame myself for everything b/c its easier then proving somone wrong
Jaylectricity:  so don't prove them wrong...they have their path, and you have yours...
tf:  ya
Jaylectricity:  just don't subject yourself to those people, unless they can be open minded and talk with you
Stf:  ya
Jaylectricity:  I don't want to preach, but I wonder if I have some sort of idea of what life is all about...Not only human life...maybe we should be living just like all other plant and animal life on this earth
Stf:  ya i kinda wonder how we seem to be the only ones evolving like why us
Jaylectricity:  personally I don't want either, I just wanna rock...haha...had to put a joke in.

Stf:  why not monkeys or fish or ne thign really
Jaylectricity:  I know...
Sf:  kinda with evolution comes problems
Jaylectricity:  It seems like some humans felt a need to tell other people how to live...but no other animal does that.
Sf:  there r pluses but if u noticed almost every teenager is diagnosed with depression and it seems to me ive never met a depressed fish
Jaylectricity:  If another kind of animal is the "leader" of the pack it is because he is the one that can fight of the other animals...other than that, they all have a job to do.  the depression diagnose is a two part question
Jaylectricity:  #1 the more teenagers they diagnose with depression, the more money depression drug companies make money. 
Jaylectricity:  #2 The longer this fucked up shit goes on, the more depressed EVERYBODY will become
Jaylectricity:  I am supposed to be "part of the system" by now...I'm 29., yet I am just now realizing how fucked up this system it is.

 OizraMiD:  i used to take a medication called Neurontin maybe, 5 years back for depression. This Sunday in the Globe some laywers ran an ad, apparantly there is a class action suit against the makers of the drug for 3bil, people who have taken it have devoloped worse problems (i.e. other mental issues, neurological problems, liver and kidney failure, thyroid disease, diabetes, some have comiited suicide,...). Some people whose Rx's were filled were given just a sugar pill
OizraMiD:  it's funny because i was MY WORST when I took that, that is when all the suicidal thoughts and the anxiety came to play, I HATED THAT MEDICATION.

this was sent in an Instant Message to me.  I have a related story...

My girlfriend(at the time) and I went to Cape Cod one weekend...when we came home we were increasingly itchy all over.  After discussing this with some friends, they told me it sounded like Scabies.  Jenni (my girlfriend at the time) and I both had the same exact symptoms, we sleep in the same bed, we have the same problem right?  We go to the same hospital and get prescribed two different drugs...hers was a liquid that she was supposed to smear on her body, and mine was  a cream...more on this later.

my awakening

it has occured to me that my invidual life is no longer important to me.  The human race, and all of the creatures on this earth are by far more important to me.

my recent regret

I went across the street from my house to get some chinese food and rent a movie (It was a good night to be a homebody.  Unfortunately my desire to chill out and be left alone made me miss an opportunity.

Outside of the Chinese bar, people have been gathering to smoke, since it is now illegal to do so in a bar.  I overheard one of the regulars (I've since learned his name is Eric) talking with a black man who I had never seen before.  It sounded like the guy may have stereotyped the black man and called him a drug dealer.  As I walked by I asked Eric, somewhat jokingly, "Did you say you were a drug dealer?"  I was trying to demonstrate to the black man that I in no way thought HE was a drug dealer(he didn't look like one to me, anyway) and also give Eric the opportunity to air his racism out loud.  He didn't bite on that, but he immediately jumped up, got in my face and asked, "what did you call me?" I'm not one for unwarranted physical confrontation and I responded with, "I didn't call you anything, I asked you if you were a drug dealer when I heard you say the words, 'drug dealer'"  It took him a minute, but he relaxed and played off his confrontation as a joke. 

I continued on my way to the video store, and when I came out I walked over to Eric and said, "Man, you scared me, I have a concussion and I don't think I could have fought you right now."  He had a very judgemental vibe as he introduced himself, and he shook my hand.  I turned to the black man to shake his hand and he did not extend his hand to me.  I looked back up at him, our eyes met, and then he looked away.  I know that he probably didn't want to shake hands with anybody that would shake Eric's hand and I walked away. 

This is my regret. Because I was "taking a break" from spreading my ultimate message, I failed to call him out.  Also the fact that I didn't want to get punched may have played into it, but I know what I should have said, when the black man refused to shake my hand.  I should have said, "I can understand why you don't want to shake my hand, did Eric stereotype you?  Is that why you are angry?"  and I should have told Eric that as long as people continue to stereotype each other, we will never be able to be "a human race" and as soon as we realize this we will become a force to be reckoned with when it comes to the system that is currently in power.  It bothersme that the black man, who looked like a decent man, probably stereotyped me as somebody who would defend Eric before I would defend him.  And that is the exact opposite of what I would have done.

I hope I never get that complacent again, and I guess I better be prepared to fight for my beliefs, but I know that I could learn a lot from that black man.  I wish he would have introduced himself, because now I am stuck with calling him that black man.  The fact that he was black is very important to this entry, but not important in our lives.